Williams IEP went well. It was nice having my support there. Hearing those words, “Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it” was an awesome ring to my ears. Bad news, he lost about fifteen percent after all that happened. His teacher stated, she had no doubt he would re-master what he lost, I had my doubts.
Usually after an IEP I ask to take my son home. I would find some sort of excuse, him and I would spend sometime together. The teacher and I agreed, it was for the best to keep him at school so he could get caught up. That was so hard to do. I just wanted things to be the way they were., and anxious to make it as quick as possible.
I’m settling into my new classroom I’m working in. Everyone seems helpful, and I’m learning new things. My student is handling the transition better than I expected. He is a handful, so what I call to be decent days are little different from what they see it. It’s a nice change being around people who, get it in my own life. It doesn’t make me feel weird and they get the sarcasm that gets you through the day. I don’t have to worry about what I say cause they just know what I’m talking about. Most importantly the support I got while my son was having issues, ment the world to me. Tearing up just thinking about it, I know if I didn’t have that, I don’t think I would have been able to fight as hard as I did.
The only thing I’m really struggling with now, is that I still don’t have answers. In my head It races a mile a minute trying to figure out why this happened. Then I hear my husband’s voice saying everything is my fault. I cant help but wonder, if addicts say things like that, to make their selves feel better. It seems to be the history here anyway. When he tries to say nice things now, it makes me nauseous, cause I don’t know if he really means it or not. But I’m sure there is no doubt I’ll find out the hard way the next time he falls off the wagon.
My son came up and hugged me tight, and said, “I’m glad I got mommy” with a big kiss on my cheek. That was my cue to let things go for while and enjoy the moment.