Sorry its been awhile since my last post. My biggest worry over everything if Pooh would regress again. PTSD never gives me a break and reminds me in my nightmares of him not knowing who I am, his hallucinations and reliving a trauma no child should ever have gone through. The helplessness I felt when he finally found the words to tell me, and the anger I felt, when too much time had past and the system failed me.
The last two weeks Pooh was struggling to sleep. I took it as its was the end of the year. Then he started to script the trauma but he used coping skills on his own to throw the situation, “In the trash.” I took it as a break through and right away told his therapist. We agreed to cut back on his sessions because of this break through that he has figured it out.
A few days later I woke up out of a sound sleep to him poking me in the arm scripting the trauma. I started to cry looking at his eyes he wasn’t there. So I stayed up with him all night and listened to him relive what happened and couldn’t get him to sleep till 5 am the next day. I didn’t bother with work or sending him to school. When his finally gave in to sleep my last moment before drifting off to sleeping was him giving me a hug and hearing him breathe peacefully.
I woke a few hours later and he was still asleep. It was the perfect time to call on his therapist. She got back to me and gave me some pointers on what to do till she was able to fit me in her schedule since we were suppose to meet in a month. It was a help and I didn’t feel so alone this trip around and that made a world of difference. When I hung up with her that’s when it dawned on me, Its been two years this month when he regressed. My nightmare came true.