I’m sorry its been awhile, this month seem to take the best of me. Pooh was slowly regressing again and I wasn’t sure what to do. I kept close tabs with his therapist, especially after he got very aggressive. Responding was taking three to four times to a simple question, so by the end of the day all I could do was cry and I felt my PTSD take over and my body went back to combat mode.
When I was at work, I tried to hide it like nothing was wrong but my one student noticed I was jumpy and always looking over my shoulder. He took it as I was keeping us safe and I was just a good person who cared. That was true, but I was hiding my fears till I got to the bottom of things.
I look forward to going to see Poohs therapist, just talking sometimes I manage to answer my own questions. When she saw him and some of his behaviors I could tell in her eyes she was worried too. That frightened me more,.
After our appointment I stopped to a herb store near by the therapist. The owner happened to be there and she always managed to give me a good insite on things when I feel lost. She noticed right away something was wrong and offered help since she was familiar with his regression two years ago. She recommended Total Knock Out Tea.
After one time drinking it he slept straight through the night and was more himself after a week. I let his therapist know what I had done, informed her the talking was came back and his attention span was better, he was back to his old self.
Then my two students graduated this past week. It was very bitter-sweet. We had a lot of tears till the big day, but I couldn’t have been more proud. My boss told me I couldn’t have realized what I managed to do since the students had history of issues with behaviors.
I even struggled with the end of the year evaluation at my job. It was great, perfect actually. I’m not use to nice things said to me. I was waiting for the “but” and waited to fail and it never happened. I headed for the door, still waiting. Goodness the ex did a number on me.
Speaking of him looks like my divorce will finalized here soon. We made an offer and he counter offered. It wasn’t by much so I agreed to it. Of course he had to have his lawyer write some petty stuff about the animals. An easy fix compared to his adultery. With his narcissist behavior, I feel he was expecting me to remark about it but therapy has helped me not to give him the fuel supply. It was tempting but I still continue to follow the no contact rule. I’m at seven months now and its easier each day.
School is out now so I can concentrate on the house and be mom till summer school starts in a month. I signed up to work the summer school so the extra money will help out with extras around the house.
Then there was my birthday. Treated myself to ravioli and Sweet Red Wine. Pooh was my date for the evening. I may have been alone but I was happy.